Sweetness

Life is sooo good.  I can hardly believe it.  South Africa is AMAZING.  I love it.  Cape Town is AMAZING.  I have climbed Signal Hill, the Lion’s Head, and Table Mountain.  Each one of these climbs began with me just opening my door from the hostel and then walking to the mountain.  No cars, no trains, no cable cars, no nothing.  Each walk has a beautiful story with meaningful experiences.  Some stories have no words.

 

I have now met quite a few South Africans and many of them have invited me to various meals, events, and other social situations.  The hospitality here is something that even southerners don’t know about.  I have spent the last 5 days with Niall Campbell, a Sangoma from Botswana who currently lives in Cape Town.  The experience has been unbelievable.  For some strange reason, his schedule magically opened up and I was able to spend almost all day with him every day.  He is an amazing man with such incredible stories, wisdom, and love.  Conversations with him have strongly challenged my perspectives on life.  I thought my way of looking at things couldn’t get much weirder, but it appears my weirdness knows no bounds.  How can African traditions be so different from the native traditions in North America that I know?  I thought I could approach the African traditions in a similar manner as I have those in North America.  Wrong.  Not only is it different, but sometimes it is antithetical to what I have previously learned.  Well, maybe this Niall guy doesn’t really know what he is talking about.  But, then why do so many people around here seem to agree with him, including me?  Why does this part of me light up inside when I hear him talk about things that I normally disagree with?  Damn.  I hate it when my ignorance introduces itself to other people without my permission.  I am sinking deeply into the unknown.  In this place, fear is the gateway to understanding.

 

Did you know that people are happier over here?  It’s true.  I’ll tell you how I know.  When you smile at someone, it is the most natural thing in the world to have him or her smile back.  Sometimes, people don’t smile back.  There are many possible reasons why: I don’t know you, I’m busy, I don’t feel like it, I didn’t notice, smiling causes an expedited wrinkling of the face, I don’t have nice teeth, I might send the wrong impression, I smiled last week…   No matter what the reason, I generally believe the person’s happiness in that moment is not very strong.  In the United States, I have smiled at quite a few people.  I’m creepy like that.  And, I have had many mutually smiley experiences.  However, in Africa, not only has the percentage been much higher, but the quality is different as well.  On some occasions, when I smile at someone, he or she will look back and smile so big that I feel their heart hugging mine.  In that moment, everything disappears and only love exists.  It is an amazing experience and it happens daily in South Africa- at the bookstore, in the parking lot, on the street, in the hostel, from a security guard, to the parking attendant, to the homeless person.  And I must say, it has been happening more frequently with black people.  That is scary to say.  Is that racist?

 

I have been thinking a lot about fear and danger recently, especially in application to the above experiences.  It is way more dangerous in South Africa than in the U.S.  There is no doubt about it.  It is dangerous to go outside at night, even for the locals.  It is dangerous to walk many places alone in the daytime.  And, there are many places where you just don’t go, ever.  This goes for almost everywhere in South Africa.  Generally, the U.S is just much safer.  To quote Niall, “Even Lucifer prays before he comes to Africa.  He reminds God that he once was an angel.”  So why are these people so damn happy?  Shouldn’t they just be scared all the time?  I think it has a lot to do with people’s relationship with fear.  In the U.S, we have so much investment in fear.  We must be safe at all costs, we must insure EVERYTHING, we must have a back up plan for our back up plan, we must never get ourselves into a situation where we feel afraid.  We are afraid of fear.  Don’t they say that the greatest trick the devil ever played was to convince the world he did not exist?  And so it is.  How much of my daily life is devoted to avoid fear or prevent loss?  I will focus on anything that will prevent me from feeling afraid- TV, my job, hobbies, exercise, reading, writing…  If life is not lived in a way that creates true fulfillment, then you are avoiding loss.  “But I have responsibilities, I have bills to pay and kids to feed.”  “Hmmm.  Maybe you’re right.  Maybe your responsibilities are more important than you…Maybe not.”

 

Consider an alternative.  In South Africa, people know that they are taking a risk every time they walk out the door.  They can be mugged, beaten up, raped, shot… whatever Fate has on the dance card.  This is a very real possibility.  One of my tourist friends was mugged, another had a knife pulled her, a friend of a friend got shot in the face last week.  This was all in Cape Town, which is one of the safer big cities in South Africa.  Even with all of the possibility of danger, people look fear in the face and continue to live their lives.  There is an amazing acceptance of fear and death.  People die.  I’m going to die.  You wanna have lunch?  There is a tremendous amount of freedom when accepting one’s own mortality.  I am taught every day how to do this by different people who live here.  There is something so primal about being here that it reminds me about the essence of life.  Facing fear and death reminds me of what is really important in life.  By facing fear, it loses its power and there is true freedom.  This freedom can make you smile so wide that you remember what life is and show it to the world.